Wednesday, April 1, 2009

so far, so good

I have now been a freelance professional blogger for over 24 hours. The idea is still weird. It just seems suspicious, somehow, that I might be able to make money by telling random people what I think. That's like offering to pay me for showing up to the internet. It's too easy.

I also seem to have picked up a troll already, which is odd. Why on Earth someone would pay attention to me strictly to dislike me, I dunno. It seems like such a waste of energy. They also seem to have absorbed this idea, common to the self-esteem generation, that it's a dire sin to ever think you're better than anyone else, for any reason. I'm sure there were originally good intentions behind this; the idea, I think, was to prevent an environment where only the very best were ever recognized, so that kids weren't discouraged from trying things that they couldn't be immediately good at. But it seems to have mutated over the years, to the annoying but probably harmless idea that you should find something to praise in everybody, however small, and past that to the actively destructive idea that it was verboten to publicly praise the best people at all, to prevent everyone else's feelings from being hurt.

I'm not fabulous at everything. I am, for example, a lousy basketball player, and I fail miserably at piano and guitar. On the other hand, I am a better writer than most people, and I don't think there's anything wrong with being recognized for that. The fact that I am a smart kid is just that -- a fact. I write from that viewpoint because it's something that shaped a lot of my childhood, and part of what defines who I am. Coming from a background of bullying at school and crazy family at home, I don't deal with social situations like most other people do, and I intend to continue to talk about it for as long as my audience is interested.

So far I've had quite a lot of people tell me I'm fascinating, and only a couple tell me I'm nuts, which I think speaks for itself.


  1. Hi! This is jazmin_firewing from LiveJournal, just so you know. I have a blog-spot too, and I was wondering if I could follow your blog. My blog here is for school, but I'll probably turn it into something more when that class is over.

  2. I agree with the idea that it's likely not one of your three people from the previous post - there seem to be plenty of repressed folks out there whose only pleasure comes from anonymously insulting others online. I usually just feel bad for them, and respond by posting helpful links to therapy sites.

  3. Jazmin: Follow away! I wasn't even aware that Blogger had that feature until I saw the thingie on the sidebar.

    freddlerabbit: It seems to have been the same charming critter that decided to be snide the last time I was metaquote'd on LJ. I killed the comment and turned on the moderation/spamblock feature anyway, so I'm not going to worry about it. I'm actually kind of proud -- this one can spew venom in full sentences with punctuation, without the usual chatspeak and misspellings of 'faggot'. I attract the classy, educated trolls!